What Is a Dildo and Why Use One?

What is a Dildo?

A dildo is a non-vibrating, phallic-shaped object designed for sexual pleasure, often used for penetration during solo or partnered sexual activities.

While dildos come in various shapes, sizes, and materials, their primary function is to enhance sexual experiences, allowing users to explore their bodies and desires in safe and enjoyable ways.

History and Purpose

Dildos have been around for centuries, with evidence of their existence dating back to ancient cultures. Historically, they were used for various purposes, from sexual gratification to fertility rituals. Today, their modern counterparts are widely accepted as tools for sexual wellness, exploration, and empowerment.

Benefits for Solo and Partnered Use

Many people use dildos to explore their bodies, increase sexual pleasure, or bridge intimacy with partners. For solo play, they offer a means of self-discovery, enabling individuals to learn what feels good and boost their sexual confidence. In partnered scenarios, dildos can spice things up, act as a means to fulfill fantasies, or help partners communicate their desires. They can also assist individuals with certain physical limitations, providing new ways to experience pleasure.

Overall, dildos can be a safe, exciting way to explore sexual boundaries and create memorable experiences, regardless of whether you’re using them alone or with a partner.

What Is a Dildo?

Types of Dildos and Choosing the Right One

When it comes to selecting a dildo, it’s essential to understand that not all dildos are the same. With countless options available, finding the right one depends on your preferences, comfort level, and desired experiences. Here’s a closer look at the various types of dildos and key considerations for choosing the one that best suits you.

Common Types of Dildos

• Realistic Dildos: These dildos closely resemble the shape and texture of a human penis, often featuring veins, a pronounced head, and testicles. They provide a lifelike experience for those seeking authentic sensations.
• Vibrating Dildos: Equipped with internal mechanisms to create vibrations, these dildos offer added stimulation and can often be adjusted to suit different intensity levels.
• Double-Ended Dildos: Ideal for sharing pleasure with a partner or for those interested in simultaneous penetration. These dildos typically have a length designed for use by two individuals or for solo double penetration.
• G-Spot and Prostate Dildos: Specifically shaped with curves or bulges to target sensitive areas like the G-spot or prostate, providing intense, targeted pleasure.
• Non-Phallic Dildos: For those who prefer a less realistic look, these dildos often come in various shapes, colours, and artistic designs that offer a fun, playful twist on sexual exploration.

Materials and Safety Considerations

The material of your dildo plays a crucial role in both safety and comfort. Here are some common options:

• Silicone: Non-porous, body-safe, and easy to clean, silicone is a popular choice due to its smooth texture and hypoallergenic properties.
• Glass: Made from borosilicate glass, these dildos are body-safe, durable, and can be heated or cooled for temperature play. They’re also non-porous, making them easy to clean.
• Metal: Stainless steel dildos offer firmness and weight, providing a unique sensation. They are non-porous and compatible with all lubricant types.
• Jelly and Rubber: While more affordable, these materials may be porous and contain harmful chemicals like phthalates. It’s best to avoid porous materials or use condoms over them.

Choosing the Right Dildo

• Size and Shape: Consider what feels most comfortable for you. Beginners might prefer smaller, slimmer options, while experienced users might explore larger sizes or textured designs.
• Flexibility: Depending on your comfort level and intended use, you may prefer a firm or flexible dildo.
• Intended Use: Think about how and when you’ll be using the dildo. Are you looking for solo play, partner play, or both? This can guide your choice.
• Budget: Dildos come in a wide price range. It’s worth investing in a high-quality, body-safe dildo to ensure safety and satisfaction.

By understanding the different types of dildos and keeping these factors in mind, you’ll be better equipped to find the perfect match for your desires and comfort level.

Preparing to Use a Dildo Safely

Ensuring a safe and enjoyable experience with your dildo starts with proper preparation. From maintaining hygiene to gathering essential supplies, taking a few simple steps can make a big difference in your comfort and peace of mind.

Importance of Hygiene

Maintaining hygiene is crucial when using a dildo to prevent infections or discomfort. Since dildos come into contact with intimate areas, they must be kept clean and sanitized both before and after use. This is especially important if you plan to use the dildo with a partner or switch between different types of play (e.g., vaginal to anal penetration).

Cleaning Your Dildo

• Before Use: Always wash your dildo with warm water and a mild, fragrance-free soap or a designated toy cleaner. Rinse thoroughly and allow it to air dry or use a clean, lint-free towel.
• After Use: Immediately clean the dildo again to remove any bodily fluids or lubricants. Depending on the material, some dildos can be boiled for sterilization (e.g., silicone, glass, or metal), while others may need gentle hand washing. Check the manufacturer’s instructions for proper care.
• Storage: Keep your dildo in a clean, dry storage container or bag to protect it from dust and bacteria. Avoid storing it with other toys made from different materials, as this can cause damage.

Essential Items for Safe Play

• Lubricant: Choosing the right lubricant can enhance comfort and reduce friction during play. Water-based lubricants are versatile and compatible with most dildo materials. Silicone-based lubricants last longer and are great for extended sessions but should not be used with silicone dildos.
• Condoms (Optional): If you share your dildo with a partner or want to switch between different types of play, using condoms over the dildo adds an extra layer of safety. Make sure to change the condom if switching between different partners or types of penetration.
• Sanitizing Wipes: For a quick clean during or after play, sanitizing wipes designed for intimate toys can be handy.

Checking for Body-Safe Materials

Using a body-safe dildo is essential for health and safety. Non-porous materials like silicone, glass, and stainless steel are generally considered safe, as they do not absorb fluids and bacteria. Avoid porous materials, such as certain rubbers and jelly-like plastics, as they can harbour bacteria even after cleaning. When in doubt, research the material’s safety or consult customer reviews.

Other Preparations for Comfort

• Environment: Set up a comfortable, private space where you feel relaxed and unhurried.
• Communication for Partnered Play: If using a dildo with a partner, communicate openly about boundaries, preferences, and comfort levels.
• Relaxation: Take your time to get in the right mindset and relax your body. Deep breathing, gentle touch, or massage can help you ease into the experience.

Proper preparation and attention to hygiene are essential steps that not only enhance safety but also make the experience more enjoyable and stress-free.

Getting Started with a Dildo

When using a dildo for the first time, creating a positive and enjoyable experience requires preparation, comfort, and patience. Whether you’re exploring solo or with a partner, taking things slowly and mindfully will help you become familiar with the sensations and find what works best for you.

Setting the Mood and Creating Comfort

Creating a relaxed and comfortable environment is key. Choose a private space where you can focus without distractions. Dim the lights, play calming music, or light candles—anything that helps you feel at ease and in control. Comfort starts with feeling good in your surroundings.

Body Relaxation and Preparation

Your mindset and body’s readiness play a significant role in your experience. Spend time focusing on deep breathing to release any tension. For solo play, explore your body with touch and identify areas that feel good. For partnered play, open communication is essential—ensure both parties are on the same page about boundaries and intentions.

Recommended Techniques for Beginners

• Take It Slow: Start by holding and exploring the dildo without insertion. Feel its texture, weight, and flexibility to build familiarity.
• Lubrication is Key: Apply an ample amount of lubricant to both the dildo and your body to minimize friction and enhance comfort. This is especially important for those new to penetration.
• Easing Into Penetration: Begin with shallow penetration and gradually increase depth and intensity based on your comfort level. Gentle movements—such as slow thrusting, rotating, or angling the toy—can help you become attuned to new sensations.
• Experiment With Angles and Positions: There’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Experiment with different positions, such as lying on your back, kneeling, or sitting upright, to find what feels most pleasurable for you.
• Listening to Your Body: Always pay close attention to your body’s signals. If you experience discomfort or pain, slow down or stop to assess what might be causing it. Comfort and pleasure should go hand-in-hand.

Tips for Partnered Play

When using a dildo with a partner, trust and communication are essential. Discuss desires, limits, and preferences beforehand. Use plenty of lubricant, and encourage each other with positive feedback. Partnered play can range from one partner using the dildo on the other to mutual exploration with double-ended dildos or using the toy alongside other forms of intimacy.

Finding the Right Rhythm

The key to using a dildo comfortably and effectively is finding a rhythm that matches your pace and preferences. Everyone’s body is different, so take time to explore how you respond to different sensations. Some people prefer slow and steady movements, while others enjoy quicker, more intense thrusts.

By focusing on relaxation, communication, and gradual exploration, you can ensure a safe, comfortable, and pleasurable experience with your dildo.

Lubrication and Why It’s Essential

Lubrication is a critical part of using a dildo safely and comfortably. It can significantly enhance pleasure by reducing friction, preventing irritation, and making penetration smoother. Whether you’re new to using dildos or a seasoned user, understanding how to choose and apply the right lubricant can transform your experience.

The Importance of Lubrication

Lubrication helps mimic the body’s natural moisture, creating a comfortable environment for penetration and reducing the risk of friction-related injuries or discomfort. It’s especially important for those who may not produce enough natural lubrication due to stress, hormonal changes, or personal preferences. Using a suitable lube ensures a smoother, more pleasurable experience, enhancing sensitivity and enjoyment.

Types of Lubricants

There are several types of lubricants available, each with specific properties suited for different needs and dildo materials. Here’s a breakdown to help you make an informed choice:

• Water-Based Lubricants: These are versatile, easy to clean, and compatible with all types of dildos, including silicone, glass, and metal. They don’t stain fabrics, making them a popular choice. The only downside is that they may need to be reapplied during longer sessions, as they can dry out over time.
• Silicone-Based Lubricants: Known for their long-lasting properties, silicone lubes don’t dry out quickly and work well for extended play. However, they should not be used with silicone dildos, as they can break down the material over time. Silicone lube is also waterproof, making it ideal for play in the shower or bath.
• Hybrid Lubricants: A mix of water-based and silicone-based formulas, hybrid lubricants offer the best of both worlds. They’re long-lasting but easier to clean than pure silicone lubes and may provide a silkier texture.
• Oil-Based Lubricants: While effective, oil-based lubes aren’t recommended for use with latex condoms, and they can stain fabrics. They’re best used with non-porous materials like glass or metal but may not be suitable for everyone due to their heavier consistency.

How to Choose the Right Lubricant

• Consider Your Dildo’s Material: Check the compatibility of your lubricant with the material of your dildo to prevent degradation or damage.
• Personal Sensitivities: If you have sensitive skin, opt for hypoallergenic, fragrance-free, and glycerin-free options to avoid irritation.
• Specific Needs: If you’re using your dildo in water (e.g., a shower or bath), a silicone-based lube may be a better option due to its waterproof properties.

Application Tips

• Apply Generously: Start by applying a small amount of lube to your dildo and your body, and add more as needed. The key is to reduce friction while maintaining a comfortable amount of slickness.
• Reapply as Necessary: Don’t be afraid to add more lubricant during play if you notice any drying or increased friction.
• Clean Up Properly: After use, clean the dildo and any residue thoroughly with soap and water or a toy cleaner to prevent buildup.

Benefits Beyond Comfort

Proper lubrication doesn’t just enhance comfort; it can elevate the overall experience. For those engaging in anal play, lube is absolutely necessary, as the anus doesn’t produce natural lubrication. It can also help people relax and enjoy themselves more fully by eliminating concerns about friction or discomfort.

By choosing and using the right lubricant, you ensure a pleasurable, seamless experience that feels good every step of the way.

Techniques for Using a Dildo

Using a dildo is all about finding pleasure, exploring your body, and discovering what feels good to you. Whether you’re flying solo or engaging with a partner, there are various techniques and approaches to make the most of your experience. The key is to approach it with curiosity, openness, and patience.

Tips for Solo Play

Solo play is a wonderful way to understand your body and preferences better. Here are some techniques to consider:

• Start Slowly: Before penetration, spend time getting familiar with the dildo. Touch and hold it, explore different parts of your body, and focus on how it feels against your skin. This helps build anticipation and comfort.
• Use Plenty of Lubricant: Lubrication is essential for a smooth experience. Apply a generous amount to both yourself and the dildo to minimise friction.
• Experiment With Different Positions: Lie down, sit up, or even kneel—the position you choose can dramatically impact the sensation. Experimenting with different angles allows you to find what works best for you and can make penetration more comfortable and enjoyable.
• Adjust Depth and Speed: Start with shallow, slow movements and gradually increase depth and speed as you become more comfortable. Pay attention to how your body responds; go at your own pace and make adjustments as needed.
• Add Clitoral or Other Stimulation: For added pleasure, consider incorporating other forms of stimulation, such as massaging the clitoris or using another toy alongside the dildo.

Partnered Play Ideas

When using a dildo with a partner, it can open new pathways for connection, trust, and intimacy. Communication and comfort are key to enjoying the experience together.

• Communicate Openly: Before diving in, discuss boundaries, desires, and comfort levels. Mutual consent and clear communication help ensure both partners are on the same page.
• Take Turns: Have one partner use the dildo on the other, taking cues from their responses. This can make it easier to learn about each other’s desires and boundaries.
• Incorporate Into Foreplay: Use a dildo during foreplay to heighten anticipation and exploration. Incorporating it slowly can make for a more intense overall experience.
• Experiment With Double-Ended Dildos: If you and your partner are interested, double-ended dildos offer a way to share sensations simultaneously, enhancing intimacy.

Listening to Your Body

It’s important to remember that pleasure is deeply personal and unique. Your body will communicate what feels good, so be attuned to the signals it sends. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach; what works for one person may not work for another. Here are some general tips for staying in tune with your body:

• Take Breaks If Needed: If something starts to feel uncomfortable, pause. Adjusting position, adding more lubricant, or switching up techniques can make all the difference.
• Breathe and Relax: Tension can make penetration less comfortable. Focus on deep breaths and relaxation to create a more enjoyable experience.

Finding Your Own Rhythm

Every person’s journey with pleasure is unique. Some people may enjoy slow, sensual motions, while others prefer more intense movements. Experimenting with speed, pressure, and rhythm will help you discover what brings you the most satisfaction.

Hygiene, Cleaning, and Storage Tips

Proper hygiene and care are essential when using a dildo to ensure both safety and long-lasting enjoyment. Dildos come into contact with sensitive areas of your body, so maintaining cleanliness can help prevent infections and extend the life of your toy. Here are detailed guidelines for keeping your dildo clean and properly stored.

Cleaning Your Dildo

The cleaning method for your dildo depends on its material. Here are some recommended cleaning practices for common materials:

• Silicone, Glass, and Stainless Steel: These non-porous materials are typically easy to clean. Wash your dildo with warm water and mild, fragrance-free soap or a specialised toy cleaner. For a deeper clean, you can boil silicone, glass, and metal dildos (if there are no electronic components) for a few minutes or place them in the top rack of your dishwasher without detergent.
• Jelly, Rubber, and Other Porous Materials: Porous materials can be more challenging to clean thoroughly, as they may absorb bacteria and fluids. Wash these dildos with warm water and gentle soap, but be aware that they may not be as hygienic as non-porous options. Consider using a condom over these dildos for additional protection.
• Electronic Components: For dildos with electronic or vibrating components, avoid submerging them in water unless they are waterproof. Instead, use a damp cloth with mild soap or a toy cleaner to wipe down the surface.

Step-by-Step Cleaning Guide

1. Rinse Immediately After Use: Rinse the dildo under warm running water to remove any immediate residue.
2. Apply Soap or Cleaner: Use a mild, non-abrasive soap or toy cleaner and lather thoroughly, making sure to clean all crevices and textured areas.
3. Rinse and Dry: Rinse thoroughly to remove all soap or cleaner residue. Pat the dildo dry with a clean, lint-free towel or allow it to air dry completely before storage.
4. Boiling or Sterilising: If your dildo is made from non-porous, boil-safe material, you can boil it for a few minutes to fully sterilise it (unless it contains electronic parts).

Storing Your Dildo Properly

Once your dildo is clean and dry, proper storage is key to keeping it in good condition and free from dust, bacteria, and other contaminants:

• Separate Storage: Store each dildo separately to prevent materials from degrading or reacting with each other. Consider using individual storage bags or containers.
• Cool, Dry Location: Store your dildo in a cool, dry place away from direct sunlight and heat sources, as excessive heat can cause some materials to warp or degrade over time.
• Dust Protection: If your dildo is made from materials that attract dust or lint (e.g., silicone), consider placing it in a cloth pouch, plastic container, or case to keep it clean.

Recognising When to Replace Your Dildo

Like any personal product, dildos have a lifespan. Here are some signs that it may be time to replace your dildo:

• Visible Wear and Tear: Cracks, chips, or changes in texture can make cleaning difficult and harbour bacteria.
• Discolouration or Odour: Persistent odours or discolouration can indicate bacterial growth.
• Material Breakdown: If the material feels tacky, sticky, or appears to be breaking down, it’s time for a new dildo.

Tips for Ongoing Maintenance

• Use Only Recommended Lubricants: Avoid using lubricants that may damage the material of your dildo (e.g., silicone lube with silicone toys).
• Regular Inspections: Check your dildo regularly for any signs of damage or wear and replace it as needed.
• Hygiene Accessories: Consider investing in toy cleaning sprays, wipes, and storage solutions to make maintenance easier.

Safety Precautions and Things to Avoid

While using a dildo can be a safe and pleasurable experience, it’s essential to be aware of key safety precautions to ensure your health and comfort. Taking the right steps can prevent discomfort, irritation, and more serious issues, while also maximizing your overall enjoyment.

Use Body-Safe Materials

Always ensure your dildo is made from body-safe materials. Non-porous materials like silicone, glass, stainless steel, and certain types of hard plastic are safer options, as they don’t absorb bacteria or fluids. Avoid porous materials like jelly rubber or certain “soft” plastics, as these can harbour bacteria and are more challenging to clean thoroughly. When in doubt, check product labels or seek reputable brands that focus on body safety.

Avoid Sharing Without Proper Hygiene

If you’re sharing a dildo with a partner, use a new condom over the toy each time it changes hands, or clean it thoroughly before reuse. Sharing without adequate hygiene can transfer bacteria and other infections between users. This is especially important if using the dildo for both anal and vaginal penetration; switching without cleaning can introduce bacteria that may lead to infections.

Check for Compatibility With Lubricants

Different dildo materials may react differently to various types of lubricants:

• Silicone-Based Lubricants: Should not be used with silicone dildos, as they can degrade the material over time.
• Water-Based Lubricants: Compatible with all dildo materials and generally a safer, more versatile option.
• Oil-Based Lubricants: May not be suitable for use with latex condoms or some types of dildos. Additionally, they can be harder to clean.

Do Not Use Damaged Dildos

Inspect your dildo before every use. If you notice cracks, chips, tears, or other visible damage, do not use it. Damaged toys can harbour bacteria and pose risks of irritation or injury. It’s safer to replace a damaged dildo than to risk discomfort or infection.

Be Gentle With Your Body

Listen to your body’s responses while using a dildo. If you experience pain, discomfort, or resistance, stop immediately and assess the cause. Forcing penetration or ignoring discomfort can lead to tissue irritation or injury. Use plenty of lubricant, move at your own pace, and explore gently to ensure comfort and pleasure.

Avoid Overuse and Take Breaks

While it’s great to explore and enjoy yourself, it’s important not to overuse or rely solely on a dildo for sexual stimulation. Taking breaks and mixing up your routine helps maintain sensitivity and prevents soreness or desensitisation.

Be Aware of Allergies and Sensitivities

Some individuals may have sensitivities or allergies to certain materials, lubricants, or cleaning products. If you notice irritation, redness, or other reactions after use, stop immediately and consider switching to hypoallergenic, fragrance-free, or specialised body-safe products.

Do Not Use With Incompatible Toys

If you plan to use multiple toys, ensure they are compatible with one another. For example, using silicone lubricant with a silicone dildo or storing different types of materials together can lead to chemical reactions or material degradation.

Clean Thoroughly After Use

Proper cleaning after every use is non-negotiable. As covered earlier, thorough cleaning prevents the buildup of bacteria, fungi, or other contaminants that could lead to infections or other health concerns.

Avoid Using Dildos With Open Wounds

If you have cuts, sores, or abrasions in or around the areas of penetration, it’s best to wait until you’re fully healed before using a dildo. This helps avoid irritation and reduces the risk of infection.

Common Myths and Misconceptions

When it comes to using dildos, there are many myths and misconceptions that can create confusion, hesitation, or even unnecessary shame. Breaking down these myths helps promote a healthy, informed, and sex-positive approach to sexual wellness. Here are some of the most common misconceptions, debunked.

Myth 1: Dildos Are Only for Single People

Reality: This myth couldn’t be further from the truth. Dildos can be enjoyed by people of all relationship statuses. In fact, many couples incorporate dildos into their sex lives to enhance intimacy, fulfill fantasies, or explore new ways to connect. They’re not exclusive to solo play—they can be a versatile tool for bonding and pleasure in partnered scenarios.

Myth 2: Dildos Are Meant to Replace a Partner

Reality: The idea that dildos replace human connection is a misunderstanding of their purpose. Dildos are tools for pleasure and self-exploration, not substitutes for emotional intimacy or relationships. In many cases, people use dildos as a way to enhance their sexual well-being or as a means to connect more deeply with their partners.

Myth 3: Dildos Are Only for Women

Reality: While dildos are often marketed toward women, anyone—regardless of gender—can benefit from using one. There are dildos designed specifically for anal play, prostate stimulation, and even double-ended dildos for shared pleasure. Sexual pleasure is not limited by gender, and dildos are no exception.

Myth 4: Using a Dildo Will Cause Desensitisation

Reality: Some worry that using a dildo may lead to reduced sensitivity over time. In reality, overstimulation can occur if there’s excessive use without taking breaks, but this is temporary. Your body will naturally return to its normal levels of sensitivity. In fact, using dildos can help some individuals understand their bodies better and identify what brings them the most pleasure.

Myth 5: Only Certain Body Types or Orientations Use Dildos

Reality: Sexual wellness is for everyone, and so are dildos. They can be used by people of any body type, sexual orientation, or experience level. They are about individual preferences and personal pleasure, not stereotypes or narrow views.

Myth 6: Dildos Are Unsafe

Reality: When used properly, dildos are completely safe. Issues typically arise when hygiene, material safety, or other precautions are neglected. By choosing high-quality, body-safe materials and adhering to best practices for cleaning, storage, and use, the risk of harm is significantly reduced.

Myth 7: Bigger Is Always Better

Reality: Size does not automatically equate to more pleasure. Everyone has different preferences, and what works for one person may not be comfortable for another. The key is finding what feels best for you—whether that’s a small, discreet dildo or a larger, more pronounced option. It’s about individual comfort and satisfaction.

Myth 8: Dildo Use Is Taboo or “Dirty”

Reality: This myth stems from outdated, restrictive views on sexuality. Using a dildo is a healthy and normal part of exploring one’s sexuality. The act of using a dildo has nothing to do with morality and everything to do with personal wellness, self-discovery, and pleasure.

Myth 9: Using a Dildo Will Change Your Anatomy

Reality: This myth is rooted in misinformation. Using a dildo does not permanently alter anatomy. The body is incredibly resilient and returns to its natural state. Fears around “stretching out” are unfounded and should not discourage safe sexual exploration.

Myth 10: It’s Embarrassing to Own a Dildo

Reality: Sexual pleasure is a personal matter, and there’s nothing shameful about owning or using a dildo. It’s a sign of self-care and self-awareness. The stigma around sexual wellness products is fading, with more people embracing conversations about sexual health and pleasure without judgment.

By dispelling these myths and normalising the use of dildos, we can foster a more inclusive, positive, and empowered view of sexual wellness.